


Memory

by oubastet



Series: A Heavy Heart [3]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 07:15:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15881202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oubastet/pseuds/oubastet
Summary: How could you think you were left alone?





	Memory

**Author's Note:**

> so uh i wrote this last april and looked at it in my drafts like OH HMM THIS IS FINISHED.  
> kafe's story is a liiiiil all over the place but i'm getting it more concrete.  
> not that it matters much but i just love him a lot.

One thing after another, Garleans, Ala Mhigo, revolution… and Kafe found himself currently in the Rising Stones in a rare moment of respite, swirling a glass of something he could not place. It gave his body a pleasant buzz, grateful for any sort of distraction. He had been having strange memories resurface as of late, of people he could not remember. It made his head throb more than the alcohol, and Kafe struggled to recall anything. It had all started upon his first visit to Rhalgr’s Reach, in the heart of the territory once controlled by the Empire... F'lhaminn stood across the counter, watching him with her ever observant gaze.

“Kafe, what ails you? It's not often I see that look about you.” She inquired, taking the glass from him, refilling it with water. Kafe frowned and stared down into the cup.

“I am… not sure.”

“Can you elaborate? There's someone I know who could get it out of you, but he's all the way across the sea.” Mused the Miqo'te, smiling softly when she saw Kafe’s embarrassed expression at the mention of Magnai.

After a sigh, Kafe knew he would be unable to hide anything from her. So he consented to the conversation. “The first time we went to the Resistance Camp,… I’m not certain why, but… It was if I was going back to someplace familiar.”

“I’ve been told you hail from Ul’dah, no? Maybe it is the familiar scenery?” F’lhaminn tapped her chin with a hand, thinking to the dirt and sparse trees. Kafe shook his head.

“They are… different.”

He paused, considering it, but shaking it away. Ala Mhigo was more green than Ul’dah, most definitely. The trees were in a similar state, but there was more life on the hills, more water flowing through the land. A pain suddenly pulsed through his head and he winced. Images of a Miqo'te woman, with dark skin and black hair, smiling down at him. A tall figure carved into the rock far above her, an arm stretched out with the palm up. She was talking to him, in a soft voice filled with tenderness but also fear…

_“Now, Kafe, we must away now. It is time for us to try our new life, away from the Empire.”_

_“But, Ma, won’t the glamour protect us?”_

_“My sunshine, it is not a matter of the protection. I do not wish upon you the fate of every Ala Mhigan child. One of hurt and young death.”_

_“Where would we go, Ma? There’s nowhere to go.”_

_“We’ll make it, sunshine, don’t fret.”_

Kafe opened his eyes as the pain vanished, only to see F’lhammin holding his shoulder. Alphinaud and Alisaie stood on either side of him, worry awash on all three of their faces. Straightening his posture, Kafe gave a nod to signify all was well. Everyone but Alphinaud let go, and the young elezen gave him a hard look.

“My friend, it’s been so long since I’ve seen those bags under your eyes. Not since the Vault. Something is wrong, and I would have you tell me.”

Not surprised but Alphinaud’s insight, Kafe closed his eyes. He rested a hand atop Alphinaud’s, and nodded slowly.

“I am remembering a time when… I lived in Ala Mhigo.”

“You’re from Ala Mhigo? Why didn’t you tell us?” Alisaie pointed out, her eyes wide.

“Because I didn’t remember. My earliest memories were of Ul’dah. Of...” Kafe started, but then trailed off. He reached up to touch the scar on his cheek, and the pain in the back of his head intensified. A barrage of images flew through his head and he gasped--

_He was in the streets of Ul’dah, the sky dark and filled with stars. A drunkard advancing on him and the dark-haired Miqo'te woman, who was desperately protecting his much smaller frame from harm. A sword, slashing down. Hitting the woman, sliding down to graze his own face as she fell away from him. He wailed as the drunkard ran, and the blood pooled underneath her. Kafe cried and cried, blood dripping down his face to join his mother’s. She lifted a hand to wipe tears and blood from his face, gave him a smile, until her hand fell._

Coming back to his senses yet again, Kafe realized he was crying. He must have screamed, since a crowd of scions had gathered all around him. Tears flowed from his odd-colored eyes, staining the wood of the counter. Alphinaud clutched at his arm, almost a little too hard, anxiety covering his face. Standing up, Kafe stumbled. He needed to be somewhere alone, right now, as soon as possible. Everything he had remembered before was turning into a lie and he was trying to process it. Alphinaud ran after him as he went, Alisaie close on their heels.

Retreating to the back rooms, Kafe staggered into his own small safe zone. All his had was a bed and dresser, with a small Fortemps banner carefully placed on the wall. He went to the banner, touching is for but a moment, the unicorn in red gleaming in the lamplight.

“You must tell me the escapades Lord Edmont had you go through one of these days, as I fear I am still not up to date on your adventures.” Came Alisaie's voice as Alphinaud barreled into the room with her. Alphinaud went next to Kafe, going to hold his arm and steady the Miqo'te’s still shaking legs.

“Please, sit.” Urged the young elezen, and Kafe obliged. The bed creaked underneath his and Alphinaud’s combined weight, and Kafe closed his eyes tightly.

“Kafe, what is going on? Are you ill? Does something hurt?”

“I..” Started Kafe, mind pulsing painfully with the incessant questions. There was a silence, waiting for him to be ready to continue.

“You recall, I have said my mother could not care for me when I lived in Ul’dah, where I was thought to have born. She had to give me up, I thought…”

“You thought?”

“I knew why she would have had to give me up… Any refugee in Ul’dah could scarcely feed themselves let alone their child… but I thought… she had left me.” Kafe explained, voice soft. Alphinaud looked on in distress, unused to seeing the Warrior of Light looking so crestfallen. No one was perfect, it seemed. Even the strongest had something to weigh down their heart. The miqo'te continued, tears welling up in his eyes to fall down into his lap.

“Except she didn’t. She protected me. And I forgot.”

The room went quiet, and glances were shared. Kafe’s head throbbed and his heart felt like it was about to leap out of his chest. He was trying to process how any of this could be real, but the echo gave truth in visualized memory, so how could it lie? Alisaie was about to speak, until Kafe’s hands shook fiercely as he gasped past the beginnings of a sob.

“I forgot everything about her. Her face, her voice. I’ve… thought ill her for so long, but she was… so warm. Desperate. She gave her life for me. And I forgot.” His words were panicked, and his ears trembled. Alphinaud gripped at Kafe’s shoulders then, bidding the miqo’te to look up at him, and his eyes were stern. He squeezed, and Kafe felt the leather of his coat creak in protest.

“Kafe. You are upset right now, but please believe me when I say that everything is alright. Not as you would like it to be, but please; everything is alright.” The young elezen’s gaze was utterly and completely trustworthy, and Kafe immediately cast aside his panic. Alphinaud would never lie to him about something as precious as this. He felt awful about the frantic words he had just babbled out, but the twins seemed to understand.

“I’m sorry. Please I… need time to think.”

====

Rhalgr’s Reach was impressive as always, and having been here for lengthy amounts of time previously, Kafe was well-off to be by himself. Though he could tell Alisaie was watching him like a hawk, accompanying him like a babysitter. The more recent memories here made Kafe far too troubled to visit half the time, but he needed to figure things out now. He went to the base of the monument, looking up at it and staring. This was what he had seen in his fragmented memories. It was massive, impressive, and nostalgic. Kafe could hear laughing children and mother’s talking in the back of his mind, and closed his eyes. Another memory came to him, but this one instead flowed like cool water and was warm like sunlight--

_Kafe and his mother sat nearby the river, their feet splashing in the water. Tea lay on a little plate by them, a tradition even though the weather was dry and hot. Kafe took a sip from the cracked cup, sticking out his tongue and placing the cup back on the plate. He didn’t care much for tea, unlike his mother._

_A boy was seen behind them, another Miqo’te, only a little bit older than Kafe. He crept up on them, until he was close enough, and stomped a foot on Kafe’s tail. Yelping, Kafe shot up, going to chase the other youth in revenge for taking advantage of his sore spot. His mother chuckled softly, seeing another miqo’te walk over to sit beside her._

_“N’Akita, when will you reprimand my son for bullying yours? It’s high time Kafe learned that he’s being made fun of.” She sighed, taking Kafe’s abandoned tea. N’Akita shrugged her shoulders, staring after the two boys chasing and being chased. They were smiling now, laughing as they splashed each other in the water._

_“He’s the only one that actually plays with Kafe. The only other Miqo'te anyway. I think the others don’t like it that we are clan-less. Or, well, he is. Kafe knows this, A’Lena.”_

_A’Lena sighed again, ears perking up at the taste of the tea. The two boys suddenly tore through the Miqo'te women, with Kafe jumping into his mother’s lap and crying._

_“Oh, sunshine, what’s the matter?” N’Akita wrapped her arms around him, hearing the young Miqo'te sob. “A’Tena, what did you do to him now?” A’Lena hissed at her own son._

_The other Miqo'te folded his arms and huffed. “Not my fault Kafe is a big baby! So weak!”_

The dream faded when he heard someone call out to him. Kafe turned, expecting Alisaie, but he froze instead, seeing the face he had just seen moments before. A’Tena, the boy that had been his only friend when they were children. It seemed the other had recognized something about Kafe, and was breathless after running to him. The sturdier looking young man then looked up, green eyes wide. He looked very much the same, but his hair was shorter and he was quite tall. Kafe stood still, shock vibrating through his body.

“Kafe! Kafe, is tha’ really you? By Rhalgr it can’t be! You and yer mum just up and vanished! And here you are, just… here!?”

It was obviously a shock to A’Tena to see someone he had presumed dead for some strange reason, but Kafe didn’t know how to currently respond.

“And yer here with the Alliance? Is tha’ what I heard? The Eorzean Alliance? What on earth have you been doing, you--” Someone cut him off short, and Alisaie came over to them, curious as to the racket A’Tena was creating. She glanced between them, folding her arms.

“Kafe, is something the matter? Is he someone you helped elsewhere?”

A’Tena gave her an odd look, tail fluffing up in annoyance. “Help me? Him? Why would he ‘elp me? What would this weakling do?”

Alisaie tried to control that laugh that Kafe could tell she had almost shouted. The rest of the Scions and his other companions got quite the kick out of seeing people react to the fact they were actually talking to the Warrior of Light, but Kafe could tell there was something… stressful about to happen.

“Kafe is the Warrior of Light, mind you. He’s slayed primals and restored Ishgard, liberated Ala Mhigo, so I think he would help you at the drop of a hat if you needed it.” Explained Alisaie, giving A’tena a smile. But the Miq’ote did not seemed pleased. Instead he turned to Kafe, and _glared._

Unprepared, Kafe was slammed into the ground, with A’Tena grabbing the collar of his shirt and pushing him into the dirt. Kafe yelped, feeling sharp claws dig into his skin.

“If yer the Warrior o’ Light now why did it take you so long to come to ‘elp us!? Where’ve you been all this time? Where’s yer mum? Is she livin’ a cozy life on coin now, ‘cause mine’s dead cause o’ the gods damned Empire!”

A sudden fury ran through Kafe, darkside flowing through his veins, and he effortlessly pushed A’Tena away until their positions were exchanged. The other Miq’ote seemed surprised by his weak childhood friend’s sudden strength, and stared up into Kafe’s snarling face.

“My mother is dead. She saved my life when we tried to survive in Ul’dah. I have saved countless people in exchange for my own. Too many have died for me. Do not talk to me as if you are the only one fighting. Because I have been fighting so hard.”

He got up, noticing a crowd had formed. Glancing over, he saw Alisaie’s disturbed look at Kafe’s anger, and silently cursed himself for losing control. Fray’s voice tickled at his brain, and he ruffled his coat, letting the bard crystal stick more firmly to his skin. Before his elezen companion could say anything, he quickly darted away, desperate to calm himself.

====

Occasionally Kafe regretted taking up the greatsword and donning the mantle of dark knight, and such was currently one of those times. Anger festered, and dripped down inside him, and he willed the feeling to pass, as it did in time. He never used to be like this, and usually he was fine, but the past few years had truly chipped away at him. Even with the bard soul crystal held close, the darkside trickled through, the red mist clouding his thoughts.

Finally shaking it off, his gaze adjusted, but just enough for the surge of an echo memory to dominate his vision.

_Motherless, like many children running the streets of Ul’dah, Kafe slipped through crowds and kept his eyes peeled for easy prey. Rich merchants or aristocrats unfamiliar with the city, ambling about with coin heavy in their pockets. Usually one of his little group would distract them, letting others steal coins or food, dashing off before they suspected anything._

_Now they ran after a successful theft, preparing to meet up in their hideout to divy up the spoils. Kafe was given more meager helpings on account of his small size, but his few newfound companions were fair and made sure everyone got food and a few coins when able to ease the ache of their bellies._

_Close to his destination, Kafe rounded the familiar corner, only to bump into a towering figure. He recognized it as one of the guards of the merchant that had just been swindled._

_Kafe balked, falling in his backside and staring up fearfully. The guard was an older elezen, as tall as a tree to Kafe, and he gazed down with cold eyes. Hand on the hilt of his sword, the elezen then addressed the little miqo'te._

_“You and yer merry bunch have some returning to do. Unless, seeing as you were the distraction, all ya little friends ran off with the spoils.”_

_Kafe saw movement down the alley, seeing his companions gazing at him fearfully behind crates and bags. Making a few hand signals, Kafe told them to run, and they seemed to hesitant, shrinking further into the shadows but standing firm._

_A hand abruptly slammed across his face, sending him into the ground, and he coughed. The elezen’s gaze was murderous. “Listen, that coin you stole? Docked from my pay, so you better give me back what you owe. Guess yer miqo'te different colored eyes ain't so lucky after all.”_

_Another slap, as hard as the last one, and Kafe saw stars._

_The roaring of small voices sounded suddenly, and a group of eight children thundered down the alley. The elezen turned, only to get mauled by little fists and daggers and teeth. Kafe sat up shakily, feeling someone take his hand and tug him along. He did his best, letting his friend lead him along. The voice of his companion whispered then, sounding grateful._

_“Ya didn't rat us out. Yer the best, Kafe.”_

The memory faded out, and Kafe felt himself begin to cry again. He remembered this event without the echo’s help, but it was so different to see it so vividly. His companions during his childhood in Ul’dah had been kind, and looked after each other. Rare when orphans had to fend for themselves. Many of them would disappear after that, and once Kafe was 12, he took everything those now-gone companions had saved and escaped to Gridania.

Gridania, where the forests were as dangerous as the deserts but he was never cold, where there was endless water and game, so many more places to hide. A paradise. 

Chest tightening, Kafe choked down a sob. Time and time again he would hold his head high over the traumas of childhood, but it seemed to repeatedly want to trouble him still. It was so hard to ignore something that shaped you even when you tried to grow around it. There were things he could only scarcely remember on account of the pain he experienced, and wondered how in Eorzea children were allowed to suffer so.

“Kafe?” Came Alisaie’s soft voice.

Ear twitching towards her, Kafe turned his head, one old eye half-lidded. He was so tired… head throbbing and eyes burning.

“Are you alright. You seem pale.” Alisaie was kind in her words as she settled a hand on Kafe’s shoulder and he leaned closer to the touch. It was a comforting gesture.

“I would like to say yes. The echo is cursing me with memories that… hurt.” Kafe closed his eyes, and his friend stood close to his side, and they pressed their bodies close together.

“You should relax. Go see your brute of a partner.” Sighed Alisaie, nudging at Kafe, who's tail began to twitch back and forth.

“Is that okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“What about… important stuff?”

Frowning, Alisaie gave Kafe a little shove. “This is important stuff. Care about yourself once in a while, please.” She then gave him a little smile, which he returned albeit tiredly.

“Alright. I’m tired, so I’m going to teleport.”

“Don’t push yourself too hard, okay?”

Kafe nodded, seeing Alisaie step away, and he closed his eyes to feel the light thrum of the crystals. His body lifted, and before he knew it, he was off the ground, floating through air that felt cool and heavy like water. It only lasted for a few moments, until he felt the brush of a soft wind against his cheek. The smell of grass and campfires reached his nose, and he opened his eyes. The Dawn Throne stood tall as it always did, catching the winds that blew high off the ground. Breathing in deep, Kafe relished the clean air free of dust. It was nice and quiet here, just what he needed.

A few residents noticed him, giving polite nods or simply a hard look. Not that he minded.

Doing a lap around the circle of grass, he looked out over the Steppe, seeing the hunting parties or the roaming individual. The Mol were stationed in the distance, and even though no one could see, he gave a little wave. It seems word had gotten around of his arrival as expected, and Kafe eventually heard the rush of feet come towards him. Strong arms scooped him up, holding him against a broad chest, and he purred.

“Kafe.” Sighed Magnai, and Kafe pulled away a little to look up at The Xaela. His yellow-ringed eyes looked happy at the surprise visit, and his smile made all of Kafe’s worries flow into the ground. Ah, Alisaie had made an excellent suggestion.

“What brings you here?” Asked Magnai, loosening his hold on the Warrior of Light. Kafe, not yet ready to break free, clung to Magnai’s shoulders like a sloth and shrugged. “My friend said it would be good for me, so here I am.”

“They have my gratitude.” Laughing, Magnai put his forehead to Kafe’s, who returned the headbutt. Magnai had picked up on some of the miqo’te mannerisms, much to the delight of Kafe. At first the taller man was confused why Kafe would rub his head all over the other’s shoulder, but soon picked up that Kafe was doing it affectionately as if to say “this is mine”.

“It still seems you are bothered by something.” Magnai pointed out, ever perceptive.

Kafe’s odd-colored eyes turned away, and his ears flicked back.

“Tell me, nhaama.”

Oh, when Magnai spoke that sweetly, Kafe couldn’t argue in the slightest. 

“Old wounds. Old memories. I forgot some things.” Kafe explained simply, leaning his head back until Magnai had to scramble to hold him. Frowning after the save, Magnai hoisted Kafe onto his shoulder. The miqo’te effortlessly moved around until he was sitting on Magnai’s shoulders, resting his head and arms on the Xaela’s head. Magnai walked, not moving too quickly so Kafe wouldn’t fall, heading towards the throne room.

“Can we have tea?” Kafe asked, tail raised at the thought.

“If you wish. Tell me your troubles when we sit.” Magnai said, to which Kafe reluctantly nodded. He kind of wanted to just ignore it all and spend time with Magnai like normal but it was probably best to tell someone, anyone, to alleviate the weight from his shoulders. Magnai was probably his best bet right now to feel comfortable, as he sometimes listened without any comment. If Kafe needed to ramble and have someone pick apart his head he’d go to Aymeric or the twins.

Magnai’s bedchamber was warm and comfortable, thick blankets covering the bed and a corner of the floor where Kafe tended to sit most of the time. The miqo’te took off most of his armor, dumping it by the door and diving into the blankets while Magnai went to prepare tea, leaving him alone. Burrowing under a large pillow, Kafe’s ears twitched, regarding the silence.

It was… too quiet, Kafe thought, feeling his mind begin to run.

He decided to think of his mother’s face, hoping just the simple memory would calm him down. Her dark skin and hair black as his own, but both her eyes were blue. She had been so happy about his blue and yellow eyes, constantly saying how handsome he looked and how lucky she was to that her firstborn had two such lovely colors. Sweat dripped down the back of his neck suddenly, and Kafe braced himself for another memory.

_The time after his mother’s death was the hardest on Kafe, and he stayed by her side the next day, until a city guard took her body to clean up the streets. Kafe kicked and cried and bit, desperately trying to get her back, to somehow give her a proper burial. He was only about eight years old, small and weak, so he was no match for the big men and woman with their big swords that could slice him in two. One of them gave him quite the hard shove, sending him down to the ground utterly spent. He watched through heavy-lidded eyes as the soldiers took the body of his mother away until finally he couldn’t hold his head up anymore._

Kafe was crying again, quietly now, tears dripping down his face as the echo freed him from the few minutes of his past. How he wished he could go back in time. He’d save his mother and they could live happier lives away in Gridania. She’d be so proud of him now, being the warrior of Light. He’d introduce her to the Scions, probably having to scold Thancred if he said anything too sweetly, but he never much did stuff like that anymore. She would love Aymeric, but honestly who didn’t, with his calm voice and unnatural attractiveness. Magnai would probably insist she stay at the Dawn Throne and get pampered.

How could he think for even a second, that she had abandoned him? The thought was cruel, but it was the reality for almost 20 years of his life. 

The door opened, and Kafe tried to wipe the tears coating his face, letting out a little sniffle. He seemed to do a terrible job of hiding it, as there was a moment’s pause before Magnai joined him in the blankets, wrapping him up in his arms. Magnai waited for him to calm down, rubbing the back of Kafe’s neck.

“Nhaama, why do you cry?”

Wiping at his nose, Kafe sighed. So he told Magnai what had happened the past few days, and once he was done, he buried his face into Magnai’s chest, right under his chin. They were quiet, until Magnai moved, lifting Kafe’s face to kiss him, so tenderly that Kafe thought he might break.

“With trauma experienced when you are so small, many help themselves by forgetting. Though it may sometimes erase the important things. Remember your mother as she was.”

“But I thought she abandoned me. How could I do that? Why did I assume that?” Defended Kafe, hands clenched into fists. He felt Magnai heave a large sigh.

“You changed your memories to protect yourself. You are not the first.”

A flash of anger, and Kafe’s tail lashed. Before he could say anything, Magnai glared down at him, though Kafe was familiar with his anger outside of their own moments. The Xaela tried not to get mad often, but sometimes Kafe would stubbornly think things such as right now and Magnai would get stern. Kafe stared back at Magnai challengingly, eyes narrowed as his tail swayed back and forth. 

“You cannot help how one hides unpleasant memories such as yours. Realize it has happened, and make your peace with it.” Growled Magnai, leaning his mouth close to Kafe’s face as if he was ready to devour him. There was a few moments of silence, until Magnai got up, going over to the table to the tea he had arrived with earlier. It looked still hot, so he took a cup, handing it to Kafe. Unable to resist the aroma, Kafe grabbed the cup, sipping at it, instantly comforted by the familiar taste. He melted into the blankets again, head bowed.

“You’re right.” He finally said, and Magnai puffed out his chest.

“Your friends would tell you the same as I did. You cannot wallow in regret.” His tone went softer. “You still look terrible, it makes my chest hurt, nhaama.” Magnai sat on the bed, abandoning his own tea, waiting for Kafe to un-prickle himself.

It took another minute, but Kafe put his tea onto the floor, standing up and moving to the bed. He clambered into Magnai’s lap, curling his tail around himself. Closing his eyes, he felt Magnai stroke his hair, rubbing a thumb along one of his ears.

“It would help if I remembered better things. Most of this occurrences have been unpleasant.” Mumbled Kafe, tracing some of the scales on Magnai’s hand. “Though I’m sure most any refugee still hiding amongst the streets has similar memories.”

“That miqo’te you encountered in the desert lands deserves my axe.” Growled Magnai, making Kafe actually laugh for the first time in days.

“That’s too much. I should… go back and apologize.”

“Why? How is he deserving of an apology?”

“Hmm. Maybe I can put flowers on his mother’s grave. She was so kind to mine after all. I think it’s the least I can do.” Kafe explained, to which Magnai finally nodded.

“Stay with me tonight.” Asked the Xaela every so softly, his selfishness showing apparent and it made Kafe smile. Turning in his lap, Kafe rubbed his head against Magnai’s chest, all the way up until they were face to face. He placed a quick kiss to Magnai’s scaled nose, seeing him squirm underneath him for more. Rolling his eyes, Kafe decided to indulge, biting at Magnai’s neck to feel him shiver. 

Not unexpectedly, he was pushed down onto his back, with Magnai leaning over him, expression hungry and hot. Kafe purred as the man above him licked his lips, dipping his head down to return the favor. He seemed intent on leaving marks, ones that Kafe would not forget anytime soon.

====

Going from the cool air to the step to the drier Ala Mhigan climate was like a punch in the stomach, and Kafe instantly wished he was back barefoot in the grasses of the Dawn Throne. He had business here to take care of, and no one was around to babysit him this time or calm him down if he lost control. Both good and bad.

Deciding to first ask around, Kafe simply wanted to know the whereabouts of A’Lena’s resting place. It took a while, but he was directed to a small graveyard a little east of the encampment, simple rocks placed instead of proper gravestones, each with a name carved into them.

A’Lena’s stone was farther towards the back, a small pile of crumpled flowers long dead on top it. Placing fresh flowers he had gathered from the Steppe, Kafe sat on the ground, wiping away some of the dirt that had gathered on the stone.

“Thank you for being kind to me. I’m sorry we weren’t quick enough.” Kafe said softly, wishing he could have been stronger much earlier and had remembered his homeland. Maybe he could have done something. Yet, the might of Zenos still gave him nightmares, proving that even then, he might have died much sooner.

“What’re you doing here?” A voice growled, and Kafe turned to see A’Tena. He must have been distressed to find out someone was looking for his mother’s grave and gone to investigate. Kafe didn’t want a fight, so he sat still, watching A’Tena advance towards him.

“I don’t wanna see yer face, get away from that grave, ya-”

“I’m sorry.” Kafe interrupted, gazing up at the other miqo’te, who stopped.

“What do you hafta be sorry for?” A’Tena scowled, green eyes angry.

“I wasn’t here in time. I’m sorry.”

A’Tena balked, seeming to be trying to wrap his head around the apology. His face went from anger to confusion in a matter of seconds. Kafe turned back to the grave.

“I wish I had given my mother a grave.” He whispered, finally standing up and wiping the dust from his pants. Those words seemed to strike a chord in A’Tena and he suddenly sombered.

“Yer mum… she was nice.” The other man finally murmured, and Kafe’s heart flipped.

“She was gone very soon after our arrival to Ul’dah. It took me four years to leave for Gridania.” Explained Kafe, unsure if his old friend would even care.

“You really made it to Ul’dah then?” A’Tena asked somewhat incredulously, an eyebrow raised.

“I don’t remember how, but yes. I preferred Gridania. Mother never got to see it.”

They both went silent again, both struggling to add something to the conversation but not knowing what. Finally A’Tena decided to talk.

“I’m sorry fer what I said. I’m sure you have your own world of troubles. Guess I never pictured the Warrior o’ Light to be the scrawny lil miqo’te I knew back then. You holdin’ up?” He was surprisingly gentle in his choice of words, but it was a welcome difference.

“If you can say that.” Kafe sighed with a smile, tail swaying back and forth slowly. He was starting to feel hot under the sun, blaming it on his coat and gloves. He never seemed to dress appropriately, but he was always going back to Ishgard or the Steppe so ended up wearing the same coat everywhere. Giving A’Tena a little nudge, Kafe motioned back to the camp, and A’Tena nodded. He took one last look at the grave, saying to Kafe in a small voice, “Thank you for the flowers. They’re nice.”

“My partner said they’re a flower that symbolizes gentleness. Your mother was very kind to mine. They shared tea more than I could fathom to remember.” Explained Kafe fondly, seeing his friend’s ears perk up.

“You never liked the tea, but now that I think ‘bout it, yer mum probably brewed it for mine ‘cause you’d always abandon it.” A’Tena chuckled, fiddling with a lock of hair. “You said partner… was it tha’ elezen girl you were with last time?”

Finally Kafe let out a true, loud laugh, leaning over to rest a hand on his knee. A’tena only stared back in bewilderment. “Oh no, no no. Alisaie will cuff your ears just for assuming. She has no interest in men.”

Scowling, A’Tena’s tail fluffed. “Then who? How would the Warrior o’ Light have time for anybody? I haven’t heard none ‘bout any true romance, only rumours.”

 

“I make time, I was almost properly married. But my partner is an au ra. He lives away in Othard, on the Steppe. Surely you’ve heard of it.” Kafe felt his ears grow hot, hoping A’Tena wouldn’t ask about the marriage bit. Thankfully the other miqo’te did not, folding his arms and putting a hand to his chin.

“Across the sea right? Near Doma?” Kafe nodded quickly. “Ain’t those fellas tall as Elezen?”

With a little proud puff of the chest, Kafe nodded. “He is taller than most elezen I’ve met.”

“Oh, ya must look silly next to him.” Laughed A’Tena, eyes sparkling with mirth.

Kafe frowned, swatting at A’Tena’s ears, who only continued to laugh.

With the main entrance of the Reach in site, A’tena suddenly stopped, making Kafe pause and turn to look at him. The other miqo’te looked at him with gratitude, eyes seeming a little wet.

“Kafe… I know our childhood was short, but… I miss it. I miss mum. We lost so much time. I’m just glad yer alright. I feel a lil lighter, I didn’t notice ‘til now.” Kafe stared back at him, sighing deeply. He silently agreed; talking with A’Tena casually like this felt refreshing, but he itched to ask about their earlier years, since he could still scarcely remember.

“You saved Ala Mhigo, and I treated ya like shite. Sorry ‘bout that.” A’Tena added sheepishly, his ears and shoulders drooping.

“I only did what needed to be done.” While Kafe was used to thanks, he would still feel confusion at the gesture; of course he would have helped. If he has the power and resources to, why ignore people in trouble? Things came at a price, despite it all, and he felt Zenos’ bloodlust drip across his shoulders. Shaking it off, Kafe continued on his way to the camp, while A’Tena chatted away alongside him.


End file.
